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When you have been in a meaningful relationship you and your partner have usually made an investment in the relationship and in each other.
When your partner decides that the relationship is no longer working for them, that they would rather be with someone else or with no-one at all, it can be very a difficult time.
The person leaving may:
If you still want to be in the relationship then you may find it hard to accept any of the 'reasons' your partner gives for wanting to leave the relationship. You may keep trying to get a proper 'reason' out of them with no success and increasing frustration for both of you
Your reactions may include:
How do I cope with this?
What may I be doing to make things worse?
Avoid excessive promiscuity or rebound relationships; don’t start a new relationship before fully working through the issues around the ending of this relationship. People choose this because it is often a time of intense and painful feelings, including loneliness, and the wish to avoid these can be strong. You take your unresolved grief as 'baggage' to complicate the new relationship and slow your healing.
Refusing to accept your partner’s decision and their right to make it will prolong your grief.
You may like to check out what you are doing or can do to manage your loss and take care of yourself.
Where to from here?
If you would like to make an appointment to see a counsellor to learn more about this topic please contact the counselling service on your campus. Distance students can contact any one of the campuses.
Please tell the receptionist if you need an urgent appointment.
Albany: Health and Counselling Centre Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 5.00 pm. Telephone (09) 213 6700.
Manawatu: Student Counselling Service, Turitea Campus, Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 5.00 pm (8.30 - 4.30 during semester breaks). Telephone (06) 350-5533.
Wellington: Student Counselling Service, The Student Services Trust @ Wellington, Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 4.30 pm. Telephone (04) 801-2542.
Page authorised by Regional Registrars
Last updated on Tuesday 29 November 2016