Skip to Content
The thing about anger
We often tend to think about anger as a negative emotion that is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, but in fact anger can be both positive and helpful. It can energize us and motivate us to overcome obstacles, solve problems and achieve goals that we otherwise may not have accomplished. It is not the angry feelings themselves that cause us difficulties so much as how we respond to those emotions. If we fail to deal with our anger constructively and effectively, it can propel us into inappropriate and troublesome behaviours. By learning more appropriate and respectful ways to respond to anger helps to avoid potential dangers such as extreme stress, high levels of tension and anxiety, health problems, and increased accidents.
Can I learn to manage my anger?
Anger is usually a cover-up reaction for other feelings such as hurt, disappointment, frustration, fear, jealously, embarrassment or insecurity. It is important to stop and consider what emotions lie beneath your anger and find ways of expressing these feelings in a healthy way.
When we get angry a subtle chain of events occurs. Recognizing and altering this chain of events can help us manage anger.
So what can I do?
Everyone experiences anger. Learning to express negative feelings in a constructive and positive manner is important for positive physical and mental health. Here are some steps you can take to express and handle your anger effectively and appropriately.
What should I do if someone gets angry with me?
What if the person becomes verbally or physically aggressive?
Some people show their anger by threatening or hurting others. This is violent behaviour and is not acceptable. In fact, it is a crime. People who use anger to get their own way are bullies. Nobody should have to resort to violence to express anger.
Where to from here?
If you would like to make an appointment to see a counsellor to learn more about this topic please contact the counselling service on your campus. Distance students can contact any one of the campuses.
Please tell the receptionist if you need an urgent appointment.
Albany: Health and Counselling Centre Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 5.00 pm. Telephone (09) 213 6700.
Manawatu: Student Counselling Service, Turitea Campus, Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 5.00 pm (8.30 - 4.30 during semester breaks). Telephone (06) 350-5533.
Wellington: Student Counselling Service, The Student Services Trust @ Wellington, Monday to Friday 8.30 am - 4.30 pm. Telephone (04) 801-2542.
Page authorised by Regional Registrars
Last updated on Tuesday 29 November 2016