Current law leading to bankruptcy of a caring non-custodial parent?

From a post to newsgroup nz.general, Re: child custody, Rob Thomson <Rob.Thomson@vuw.ac.nz>, 1996/05/25, Message-Id: <4o5quj$92i@totara.its.vuw.ac.nz>

He asked me to include his response here "given that I applied for joint custody with the children, in their best interest, remaining in the district AND attending their same schools."

Or the Father who requested "Joint Custody" truly believing that it was "in the best interest of the children" that the children have ongoing contact with BOTH parents.

Joint custody was NOT awarded because THE MOTHER did NOT want it. She wanted the "clean break" to apply. SHE wanted to get on with her life [with her new partner] and that of our children "in the absence of their father". To remain in the lives of my children I have spent over $55000 legal fees in the last two years, have given up a 30 year career, been forced to move 70 kms out of Wellington to be near the children, now work part time, have increased costs associated with my commuting AND pay full child support while having my children for 39.99% of the nights. I am currently spending over $100 a week more than I am earning AND am living below the poverty level even when the children are with me. It would have been easy [and cheaper] to just give up and walk out. It would even be easy to stop work and save myself $250 a week in expenses BUT instead I am taking the Commisioner of Inland Revenue to Court over Child Support. I do NOT see myself "as merely a wallet" in my children's lives.

I have a responsibility to MAINTAIN them and that responsibility is not just financial. As I no longer have the financial resources to afford a lawyer, I will be representing myself in Court. I understand there are about seven grounds for taking the Commisioner to Court in such circumstances. I will be applying under six of them.

YES I can understand why many Fathers do not go to Court over Custody. It is a very expensive and stressful procedure, for the children as well. Have you any idea what it was like for me to "raid" the children's money boxes because I didn't have enough money to buy a train ticket to allow me to travel to work to earn enough to pay child support and then be out of pocket by $100 a week. At my recent matrimonial property hearing I told the Judge [I was representing myself] that I was within three days of being declared bankrupt.

What sort of impression is this giving my children? In the two years following separation their mother has NOT sought work at all.

Stuart Birks

12 June, 1996