By Mark Rowley, Men's Centre North Shore, from "The Men's Hour" radio programme, which is broadcast at 6-7pm on the second Monday of each month, from 810AM Access Community Radio Auckland. 'Men's Hour' is put on by the Men's Centre North Shore (MCNS):

Tonight I want to talk a little about LAURIE O’REILLY

People all over New Zealand will have been saddened to hear recently that our Commissioner for Children, Laurie O’Reilly, has terminal cancer. He has dedicated his life to serving others….as a father and a family man, as a rugby coach, as a family lawyer, and more recently, as heading the office of the Commissioner for Children. He is passionate in defending young children, perhaps the only group in society who truly cannot be said to be the cause of anyone else’s pain and suffering. He steers a difficult course through a tangled legal system involving the Children, Young Person’s and Their Families Service, the Family Courts and the Youth Justice system.

Perhaps as never before the spotlight is now on the future of families, and with this in mind Laurie is determined that the project he has started, "Fathers Who Care - Partners in Parenting", will be completed, come what may.

It has been criticised in some quarters for its methodology, for its inadequate budget, and for the staff allocated to see it through. But with sufficient good will we might, just might, have a discussion document at the end of it all that points to what we can do to arrest the decline in fatherhood, family life and family values. This is, Laurie believes, and I agree with him, THE most urgent social problem facing us today.

Critics of fatherhood are many. The Herald editorial on the Saturday before Fathers’ Day could not resist making some really gender-biased observations about fatherhood and having a mean-spirited dig. Fathers and fathering are now fair game for every politically correct social commentator. The Minister for Youth Affairs just this morning weighed with an attack on fathers. The law in the form of the Family Court does nothing to ensure that fatherhood’s decline will be arrested and in fact seems more often than not hell-bent on seeking its demise. Unjust and unequal custody orders are common and there are few penalties for non-compliance by the custodial parent, usually the mother.

The Domestic Violence Act, while clearly beneficial in many situations, is now being deliberately misused by some lawyers and their clients in ways that are clearly disadvantaging fathers and separating them from their children. Separating them for no more reason than that mere allegations of violence are a silver bullet that gets a father out of the house or flat, away from his children and totally on the back foot in the forthcoming legal battle over the children and matrimonial property. Such allegations are easy to make, easy to withdraw once the damage is done, and with little or no punishment for misusing the law in this way. And the victims in all this are the children, deprived of their right for contact with their fathers, a right supposedly guaranteed under the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Laurie, in several prominent articles and interviews over the last few weeks, has nailed his colours to the mast and declared unequivocally that good fathering, and the public recognition of good fathering, should be among our highest priorities.

For speaking out so clearly, courageously and forcefully at such a difficult time for himself and his own family we must accord him the utmost respect and our heartfelt thanks. We are certain that men and women of goodwill throughout the country will join with us at the Men’s Centre in recognising a fine man who has always put families and children to the forefront. Well done, Laurie O’Reilly, Commissioner for Children.

8 September 1997

810AM Community Access Radio