Women's anger, observing violence, and children

CAPS New Zealand is a national collective of child abuse prevention services ... eight in the North Island and at present only one in the South Island ... all have as a primary goal the prevention of child abuse through the support, education and counselling of parents, especially mothers.

Mothers are the primary caregivers of young children. Mothers do most of the constant and demanding care of pre-schoolers, so it should be no surprise that much of the reported physical and emotional abuse of pre-schoolers is done by mothers. Addressing this concern is the aim of the CAPS Anger Change programme.

From: "CAPS Anger Change Programme" by Faye Lillian, a paper presented at the Conference, "Children and Family Violence: Effective Interventions Now", Ministry of Justice (NZ), July 1999. So whereas men are "violent", women are "angry", but at least women's problems get some recognition.

On the brain modifying effects on young children of exposure to domestic violence (living in a household where domestic violence is present):

... terror deflects the forming brain in its structure and function, and violence causes children of any age to consistently perceive danger in their surroundings.

The lack of understanding; the loss conscious recognition of the source of their behaviours and of why this happens.

The destruction of the sense of self and safety; the chronic anxiety and their disorganised attachment with feelings of acceptance or trust linked to those of harm.

The isolation - unspoken, unwitnessed - who picks up the signals of their distress?

The quiet destruction of the mind; the long silence before the consequences surface - consequences often never linked to these beginnings.

From: Children and family violence Dr Robin Fancourt, a paper presented at the Conference, "Children and Family Violence: Effective Interventions Now", Ministry of Justice (NZ), July 1999.

But removal from such a setting may not be a cost-free solution:

"Family instability and lack of parental affection and supervision during adolescence were found to predict dependent and passive-aggressive PDs among men."

From: Jeffrey G. Johnson, PhD; Patricia Cohen, PhD; Jocelyn Brown, MD; Elizabeth M. Smailes, MA; David P. Bernstein, PhD (1999) "Childhood Maltreatment Increases Risk for Personality Disorders During Early Adulthood" [Fulltext here, July Arch Gen Psychiatry. 1999;56:600-606] (c) AMA 1999. PD = Personality Disorder.

and note also that psychologist Karen Zelas cautions about the psychological effects of family disruption and the removal of a parent in cases of proven abuse. (Zelas K (1998) editorial, Butterworths Family Law Journal, 2(11), September, pp.275-6.) She sees value in protecting the parent-child relationship even when the parent has been abusive.

Stuart Birks

2 September 1999