Don't do it. Just don't do it. OK. If you have to do it, may your god(s) have mercy on your soul. Try to do this:

• Make sure you load the modules: intel/compiler/64/***, intel/mkl/64/***, and intel-mpi/64/***.
• Follow the instructions from here.
• Use the Makefile in /cm/shared/apps/VASP/src/vasp.5.3 as a guide.

Modules are pretty easy when you get the hang of them. Basically all these $<VARIABLES> can be set in them, so that the user doesn't have to have big .bashrc entries.
As a starting point, look into the existing modulefiles at /cm/shared/modulefiles. Whatever is listed here get read out on a module avail call.
To write your own modules, take an existing modulefile (for all that tcl messaging at the beginning), and modify it according to this handy information. A workable template goes something like:

modtemplate

#%Module -*- tcl -*-
##
## dot modulefile
##
proc ModulesHelp { } {
    puts stderr "\tTell the user some help information here."
    puts stderr "\tLike maybe list what the module does."
}
 
module-whatis "This gives the output from user@host> module whatis ****"
module-whatis "It can also be multilined."
 
### Here, list modules that conflict (e.g. openmpi vs. intel-mpi), modules to pre-load, and modules that are prerequired. 
conflict ****
module load ****
prereq ****
 
### Here you can set variables, append and prepend paths. 
set              app_version            <some number>
setenv           app_ROOT               /cm/shared/apps/<app dir>
append-path	 PATH                   /cm/shared/apps/.../<some path>